Come Now, My Merry Friends: Streams of Guests through Open Doors

Chloe Elizabeth
May 13, 2019
19 min read

Chloe E. Evans

Senior Thesis Class

13 May 2019

Come Now, My Merry Friends: Streams of Guests through Open Doors

(All People Should Be Benefited by Diligent Christian Hospitality)

Imagine yourself in your senior year of high school. You are sitting in your favorite chair in your living room thinking back to where you have been and what you have done. You think back to when you were a child dreaming about what you wanted to be as an adult. When you were seven, you wanted to be a nurse. Later, when you were older, you wanted to be a teacher. Now you sit here as a high-school senior thinking about what interests you and how you can impact the world.

You may see many people walk down your street in your neighborhood. The old ones, the young ones, the tall ones, the short ones, the groups of people, the lonely person, you see the rich ones and the poor ones. There is a diverse amount of people. Questions about what you would like to do start popping up in your mind. How can you help and minister to people? What if your desires and callings as a child and now as an adult are combined into a ministry? As you contemplate what you would like to do and what the Lord has called you to do, you start contemplating about the practice, the true practice, of Christian hospitality.

Background of Christian Hospitality

Before one starts exploring the reasons for Christians hospitality, one should understand its background and context. The practice of Christian hospitality and being a friendly person are old issues that date back to the Old Testament in the Bible. When a stranger would come into town, the whole community would gather together and find a place for the stranger to rest. One example is found in Genesis 18 when the Lord visited Abraham and Sarai to announce that Sarai would have a child. Abraham prepared his visiting Lord an elaborate feast. This is not the only Old Testament example of a man providing a resting place to a stranger. Rahab provided a hiding place to spies, Abigail hosted David and provided him with food and rest, and a Shunammite woman provided Elisha food and rest as well.

If this was a prominent practice in the Old Testament, near on six thousand years ago, how did it become so scarce in our culture today? Is this a sign that we have lost our friendliness and hospitality to people other than just our friends and family? Because of how people are viewed and view others in the culture, there are many people who are pushed or push people away to the corners due to their circumstances.

Unfortunately, the old and beautiful practice of Christian hospitality has slowly lost its vibrancy. What was once practiced throughout whole communities and families is lost. This is a sad and sorry sight. It is agreed that hospitality is difficult because we are not comfortable opening ourselves to others for fear of being judged. Because we do not wish to be judged, we only open ourselves and our homes to our friends and family. We do not want our food, space, time, or money to be taken for granted. In short, a true and ugly fact about us is that we are somewhat stingy when it comes to sharing with other people.

Also, it is generally agreed that, when in danger, we keep ourselves, our families, and our possessions safe. We do not want our possessions to be stolen or our family hurt. Opening our home puts everything we value in danger. This is one fact and reason why we do not open our home to strangers and practice Christian hospitality. We, unfortunately, tend to hold great value on our material possessions, and are afraid the poor might take a fancy to our things and steal them. This, again, is an unfortunate and true fact about us.

Whether hospitality is easy or difficult may come with a variety of answers from many people. We all agree that it is good to entertain and feed people. But when we start talking about opening our homes to strangers and offering them more than just food and entertainment, we can become squeamish, uncomfortable, and shy. So, what is an accurate definition of hospitality? How can we become friendlier by the diligent practice of hospitality, especially Christian hospitality?

Christian hospitality is a practice that welcomes the lives of people into our homes. We are called to offer them more than just food, entertainment, and shelter. When we offer hospitality to the stranger, we should offer them encouragement, goodwill, and love whether they are poor or in need of a friend. Another important term to define in the debate about Christian hospitality is the term “friendship.” A simple definition could be pulled from a dictionary or the internet: a friend is a mutual trust and support for relationship purposes, especially between close allies or friends. However, true biblical friendship that comes from biblical hospitality is meant to branch out further than our comfortable circles. Hospitality was and is proof of the truth of Christ. We should be sharing this proof and love to other people. However, thanks to the 18th century, we now have the idea and definition that hospitality is only about entertaining family and friends. Do we not think this when someone mentions being hospitable? We hardly ever think that hospitality means opening homes to strangers, the poor, and travelers.

Why does biblical Christian hospitality matter? How serious is this practice? Some people would consider that opening your home to strangers is delicate and a somewhat dangerous practice. If you have children and you open your house to strangers, it can be dangerous for your children’s sake more than for your own. For some people, bringing the poor and needy to the government seems like a good thing. Government welfare gives them a home and food. That option is less dangerous for us and our children. It is good for the needy because they will not starve. Seems like it is a win-win for all parties, right?

Because of this mindset, this is exactly why we should practice hospitality. The poor and strangers shouldn't have to depend on the government for their food and friends. They should be able to come to church and to our homes with the confidence that we will host them with the love and kindness of Christ. In other words, we should provide them with the better food, better shelter, and greater love because we have Christ. Are we the kinds of people to cast the poor and needy away because they might be dirty and need a bath? Do we value our material possessions more than human life? Are Christians afraid to open their homes to strangers? Are we only to keep company with other Christians? Are we to only minister and help our fellow brothers and sisters? Is that the true ministry of a Christian? Are we to be known as less friendly than the LGBTQ group of people? Are we not called to show Christ to those who are the lost? Is this not what Christ has told us in His Word?

What are some relevant questions that should be considered and kept in mind concerning the practice of hospitality? What does true hospitality look like? Is it not agreed that it is sad to be lonely and without friends? Is it not true that we should show love to all people? The most popular method to help the poor and weak is to point them to the government for help. What kind of a nation and what kind of Christians are we to not show Christ to those in need of friends, encouragement, and love?

So, what is exactly is Christian hospitality? What effects can friendliness in our own character develop in practicing Christian hospitality? How can Christian hospitality be a great ministry for both parties, host and guest, as we open ourselves and homes to share the gospel and serve others? These are questions that must be answered in order to understand what diligent Christian hospitality is, looks like, and the ministry and benefits that come with it.

Definition of Hospitality

Today, many people do not know what Christian hospitality looks like or how to define it. Many people view and think about hospitality as entertaining and feeding people with a good and memorable meal. The early church fathers defined Christian hospitality as opening homes to the traveler and providing him with a good hearty meal and a bed for however long he stayed. Hospitality shows biblical love to those in need. It is generous loving to the poor and the rich. The social status and roles of the strangers did not make any difference to those providing hospitality in the early church years. The Bible commands us that we are to show kindness and hospitality to all people. Before the 18th century, when a traveler or stranger showed up, he was the center of the community. The strangers were shown and brought throughout the whole of the town for all the people to see and welcome. Having a traveler or someone to show love and God’s grace to was looked forward to with great anticipation. To provide a stranger with food and a comfortable lodging place was one of the first callings for women. In this day and age, we have it in our minds that hospitality is only shown to our friends and family with love, laughter, games, and food. In short, only a thoroughly prepared home with grand foods and outstanding entertainment create the best atmosphere for hospitality. This idea only came about in the 18th century. Hospitality became a luxury for the hosts to entertain their equals to show off their homes and skills in excellent entertainment. Unfortunately, this is the definition and idea today of what hospitality looks like. We no longer understand what true biblical hospitality means.

Once we open ourselves and our homes to strangers, we begin to cultivate a hospitable heart within us. Hospitality is not achieved through small, mundane tasks. Instead, hospitality is hard work only achieved in those who are radically diligent in hosting and serving others. Just as the early Church wives, such as Katie Luther, demonstrated hospitality and ministered to the strangers, Rosaria Butterfield is today’s example of practicing diligent Christian hospitality. In her book, The Gospel Comes with a House Key, Rosaria Butterfield tells of how she hosts people and the attitude she has as she ministers to them. She not only opens her house to five families of ten people, but she invites all the families in her neighborhood and serves dinner to them. If these women, on a day-to-day basis, host all their neighborhood and the strangers with whom they come into contact for dinner, can it be that difficult for us to host a couple of families every two to three nights for dinner? Yes, hospitality takes diligence and hard work, but it is what we are called to do and what we should look forward to doing.

So now that there is an established definition and heart of Christian hospitality, let us look at some examples of hospitality. After all, there are plenty. Rahab offered shelter and protection to two spies, Elisha was given food and rest from a widow, and there is the example given earlier of Abraham offering rest and food to the Lord. One party of these three examples had never met the other but offered and served them whatever was needed. Rahab placed herself in great danger when she helped the spies. Katie Luther opened her home to all people. She helped them. She healed them. She fed them. She clothed them. She was diligent in this practice. These are examples of going the extra mile, placing yourself in danger, and offering everything you have to others. Hospitality meant serving others even though it might endanger you and your family. Hospitality meant a never ending flow of guests and strangers through your door. Hospitality, as shown, comes with great risks, danger, and time. Hospitality was and should be dying to one’s self and serving others. Hospitality is about serving others, not entertaining people as we think of today’s definition of hospitality. Hospitality is the work of Christ.

The Friendliness that Comes with Hospitality

Now that we have a proper definition of Christian hospitality and examples have been considered, let us consider the friendliness and friendship that come along with hospitality. Hosting people, whether friends or someone you met in town, will grow your number of acquaintances and friends. Although it has long been proverbed that a few good friends are better than many silly ones, we should nonetheless show God’s love to all people to grow and establish new friends and acquaintances. And, there is another proverb that is good to keep in mind, and that is, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

As we grow in God’s grace, we learn to become friendlier. In John 1:14, the Bible says that God is love. Christians are called to demonstrate and show this love to others. Because God is kind and forgiving, we should be kind to all people and forgive them when they sin against us. In other words, showing hospitality means that we are to daily die to ourselves, ask for forgiveness from others, and pick up our cross to faithfully practice what we are called to do. As stated earlier, hospitality is not easy. It is a hard and long journey. However, we gain the whole world when we die to ourselves and show hospitality and friendliness. Just as Jesus brought people together by feeding them with fish and bread or feeding them with the Word of God, so we are to bring people to our homes to show kindness and God’s love to them through a meal. Food, after all, brings people together.

We are called and exhorted to be friendly and have friends. It is not good for us to be alone. Since the fall of Adam, having friends is a necessary part of life. Once Adam named all the creatures and saw that each of them had a partner and friend, he saw the he had no one to turn to and help him. God saw this and realized it was not good for him to be alone. So, He took from Adam a rib and made a woman to be his helpmeet. But, when Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit, they became weak and sinful. Because we are weak, we need friends, God-fearing friends. God’s grace is dispensed through our friends who trust and fear God. We need fellow companions to help increase our wisdom and continue to point us to Christ. This is not just an option for us, but we are obligated to have friends just like we are obligated to be married. People should pray for godly, wise, and true friends in the same way as they should pray for their spouse. True friends and a true spouse will heighten our joy, love, and obedience to God. God uses friends as a means of grace.

To have the people we know over for dinner and fellowship reinforces our relationships with them. To have people over of whom we just met or have only known for a short while will start to grow and establish relationships. When we befriend someone, we tell them the exciting things that have happened and are happening in our lives as well as listening to them and their loves. As the proverb goes, “The man who would have friends must show himself friendly.” Telling each other our life stories demonstrates trust and loyalty. When we speak truth, we cultivate a love toward the person to whom we are speaking. As mentioned previously, where food is there a lively fellowship will be. For instance, there are many passages in the Bible centered around feasting when there is a gathering of people. People come to hear Jesus along with having a fine meal of fish and bread. The Lord’s Supper is the best example we have of our relationship with the Lord and growing around feasting. God’s kingdom brings people into a joyous feasting. Friendships are made and our relationship with the Lord grows and strengthens around and with food and wine. Because God continually invites us to dine and fellowship with Him, should we not continually invite people to dine and strengthen fellowships with us? We are called to follow Christ’s example by inviting people to dine and fellowship with us.

The Ministry of Christian Hospitality

Now that we have considered the definition of Christian hospitality and the friendship that comes with it, I will elaborate on the ministry of hospitality. Hospitality is a ministry. It is more than just a calling and a career, it is something that all Christians are called to practice and demonstrate. It is a necessary practice for Christians and the community of faith. The ministry and practice of hospitality offers rest and help to those who are struggling. It shows the love of Christ and the grace of God. “The heart of hospitality is the encouragement of others,” writes Steve Wilkins in his book Face to Face. Encouraging others in Christ is a hard ministry that requires diligence and radical practice. We meet people all the time who are struggling in some place in their lives. The practice of hospitality will cause you to grow closer to people whom you have known for many years or those invited over for dinner a month ago. As you get to know people, you become aware of their struggles, and you learn how you can help them. Because it is a necessary practice for Christians, we should not shrink away from ministering to those in need of help and love.

Showing love to the people we minister to demonstrates God’s grace. Because we need hospitality, we must show hospitality to strangers. Until God welcomed and demonstrated hospitality to us, we were strangers to this practice. Showing and practicing hospitality is a means of grace, sanctification, and growth in the knowledge of Christ. Christine Pohl writes in her book Making Room, “Hospitality teaches us to esteem and care for others, in that it teaches us to die to ourselves.” Practicing hospitality teaches us to be friendly and serve others and teaches us to die to ourselves and practice sanctification. When people who regularly practice hospitality are invited to dine at another's table as a guest, they feel refreshed and ministered to in another way. This is the kind of ministry that we should be offering in a back and forth manner to people. Through diligent hospitality, benefits and blessings are thrust upon both the host and guest. The host becomes like Christ, growing and hosting and ministering to the needy; the guest is served with the love and grace that God shows to His people. When a guest tastes the true ministry of Christian hospitality, he is then excited to host people and taste the other benefits as a host of hospitality.

Christians practicing hospitality open their homes and the gospel to people. Friends, family, or strangers. However, there are many groups and manners of people with different thoughts about practicing hospitality. In one group, there are people who want to open their homes to many people, but they feel as though they do not have enough resources or space to entertain people. In another group, there are families who are gifted with lots of space but feel as though they become overwhelmed because of how many children who occupy their home. There are those who have space, but fail to use it for God’s glory. And, the last group may have limited space and resources, but continues to practice hospitality. Each circumstance comes with their own set issues.

However, it all comes down to whether you wish to host people and share the gospel whether you have plenty or have limited resources. You can share the Gospel to a great extent without having tons of decorations, elaborate foods, and an overwhelming and abundant space. Another quote Christine Pohl puts in her book, Making Room, that is relevant to this issue is "Hospitality doesn't require many resources; it does require a willingness to share what we have, whether food, time, space, or money." She goes on to say that poor people are more readily enthused to provide hospitality to others even though they have less than we do. Does this not create a bad reputation for Christians? If they are willing to provide hospitality to others, even with limited resources, we, who have even more than they, should and can provide even greater hospitality to others. Hospitality is to be offered and practiced with enthusiasm and grace, even if we have limited resources. Put in another way, those who have resources, small or great, should be a never-ending fountain of blessing and grace to others. If we are genuinely concerned about practicing hospitality to strangers, we must have a good deal of courage. Hospitality requires us to take risks but also requires us to welcome all people into our homes with love, grace, and kindness. For us to play safe about whom we invite into our homes can be a big mistake and we end up being moral failures.

Why All other Excuses Are Small Ones

Would you invite a homosexual into your home? Most conservative Christians agree that keeping company with a homosexual is dangerous. A person who likes their same gender, gross! Some Christians agree that you should never willingly invite them under your roof for dinner. To have such a person at your table among you and your children is like inviting the devil. However, to not invite a homosexual into your home because he or she is living in sin is not practicing the true ministry of Christian hospitality. We are called to invite the struggling, lonely, and unbelievers into our home to help, love, and share the gospel to them. We are called first and foremost to minister to the unbelievers, including the homosexuals.

One passage that some Christians may choose to support their case and not practice Christian hospitality toward homosexuals is 1 Corinthians 5:8-11. In this passage, the Bible says that you are not to break bread with evildoers. But, if you examine the entire chapter in its full context, the passage states that we are not to break bread with a person who calls himself a Christian but lives in sin. Christ broke bread with the tax collectors and sinners. We are called to teach all nations the gospel. So, saying that we are not to break bread with homosexuals because of who they are is a terrible example of diligent Christian hospitality. To take the Corinthians passage as a refutation passage is taking what the Bible says out of context. The passage actually centers around the Lord’s Table and who is invited, not a household meal.

What if you are shy, timid, or introverted? It is difficult to be outgoing when someone is introverted. It is agreed that people with an introverted and shy personality have a difficult time being outgoing toward people. However, introvertedness, shyness, and timidity should not keep us from practicing diligent Christian hospitality. We are called as Christians to practice hospitality without grudging toward one another and to have an open and hospitable spirit. Imagine you are an introvert. You are standing in a group of people of both introverts and extroverts. They are chatting about who they had over, who they met this past week, and who they plan to have over the upcoming week. They then ask you who you have over. You have just heard their stories and now, you must embarrassingly say you had no one over and you never really talk to others. You have been saying that you try to make a better effort in having others over, but always have something going on. Always the same excuses and always the same embarrassment.

Hospitality is not an option for Christians, it is necessary. For the introverted, just because you call yourself an introvert and you think you should feel pity from people, is not dying to oneself. We are exhorted to be humble, just, temperate, and holy as 1 Timothy 3:2 commands and describes how we are to act. Are the shy, introverted Christians to forever not practice hospitality because they are “being an introvert?” or “Doing the introverted thing?” Doing the “introverted thing” is not an option for Christians. We are to be the salt and light of this world to grow the kingdom of God. Stop being an introvert and start building relationships with people. Host and show the love of Christ to the unbelievers. Die to yourself, pick up your cross, and follow Christ’s example.

What if you are tired? You put in an 18-hour day, 5 days a week and look forward to a quiet weekend glorifying God. You may host some people on a Lord’s day for fellowship, but only because you have a sudden burst of energy. It is agreed that we are all busy in our own way. Some spend many, many hours behind a computer screen, some working long, laborious hours doing construction, some traveling abroad for music events and gigs. Hosting people on a weekend for dinner and fellowship may seem like a laborious task considering the busy week you had. You have to worry about cleaning your home, making sure that you have good food, and think about conversation topics. It is all about the entertainment instead of the serving.

However, being busy is not really a good excuse for not practicing diligent hospitality. Rosaria Butterfield has people in her home every single day. She balances her time between homeschooling her children, ministering alongside her husband at the church, and showing hospitality to all 300 homes in her neighborhood each day. She has a never-ending stream of people in her home and a never ending ministry. Katie Luther, who was mentioned earlier, kept her home full with people, worked a garden and a brewery, and educated her children. In the evening, she prepared the dinner and had intellectual conversations with her husband and their dinner guests. The dinner guests were in addition to her regular guests already in her care. Seeing their example of daily diligent Christian hospitality should cause each and every one of us who says we are to busy to host anyone to stop and analyze our lives. Both of these women hosted many people daily. Are we “too busy” to host a couple families each week either for a weeknight dinner or a Lord’s Day evening fellowship?

The Answers To Bringing Back Christian Hospitality

We have now explored the matter of Christian hospitality and what it is; from the definition that it once was to how and when it changed. We then considered the friendships and love that come with practicing diligent Christian hospitality. We are called to be friendly and have friends. And we saw that practicing Christian hospitality builds friendships with other people and that it reinforces already existing friendships. Finally, we ended with the overall ministry Christian hospitality calls us to do. We saw how it demonstrates God’s grace and that we do not need elaborate resources to provide help and shelter to strangers.

Years later, the senior high school student is a woman with a family of her own. She is a wife and a mother. She not only diligently teaches her children and helps her husband, but she diligently practices Christian hospitality. Her living quarters may not be grand and she may still be a little introverted, but she tries to die to herself and follow Christ every day. Christian hospitality is about demonstrating God’s grace, building new friendships, serving others, sharing the gospel, and dying to yourself. It takes courage, but have courage in Christ and remember the beautiful words that Philippians 4:13 gives us: “I can do everything through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

What does this mean for the average person? Let me suggest three things people can do immediately. First, we can show ourselves friendly. What do I mean by this? Don’t just show yourself friendly to your family and best friends, but show yourself friendly to all people in your community and church. Smile, ask them how they are, and be interested in their lives. We must become friendly with our neighbors and fellow brethren in Christ before we can truly show ourselves friendly to strangers. Second, we must be willing to open our homes anytime and any day for people to drop in and stay awhile or just say hello. Anyone that is driving or walking by should feel welcomed to come into your home without feeling awkward or uncomfortable. This is one of the first matters of being friendly. You don’t need a formal invitation, you don’t need a matter and reason to stop by, just make the drive or walk and feel welcome in our homes. And finally, we need to be brave and have courage to go out into our communities meeting and inviting people to dine with us. We should be brave to talk to people in all places and at all times in our lives. We are called to practice Christian hospitality. It is not a suggestion or choice. Let us, Christians, be friendly, open our homes and lives together, and share the love of God to others. Come now, my merry friends.

Cheers,

Chloe Elizabeth

Works Cited

Bonhoeffer, Dietrich, Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Christian Community

Harper & Row Publishers, Inc., 1954

Butterfield, Rosaria C., The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World

Crossway, 2018

Crawford, John. “Reclaiming the Culture through Christian Hospitality” 22 April, 2014

https://americanvision.org/10608/reclaiming-culture-christian-hospitality/

Curry, Andrew “How a Runaway Nun Helped an Outlaw Monk Change the World” 20 October, 2017

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/10/martin-luther-wife-protestant-reformation-500/

Dillehay, Tilly “Share Your House Key to Win Your Neighbors” 9 April, 2018